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Kitlers and the furred Reich



Now we all know that dogs have owners while cats have staff. At times, the help given by our feline friends to us railway modellers can have disastrous consequences. For cat lovers such as myself it is particularly traumatic as one does not dare to shout at the cat as one knows only too well that they will only sulk and do something else dreadful like being sick on the duvet. So this page is dedicated to fellow feline victims under the jack paw of the Furred Reich! Indeed, we should probably undertake a post-structuralist analysis of the socio-semiotics of fuhrer/feline inter-contextuality.


Whinge the Egyptian Mau (spotty one) and his constant companion Lenny the Foreign self colour and Microdot (scale 12"/1ft) during a quieter moment.

Much of the time, modelling leaves me with hands covered with half dried sticky materials. This is exactly when Whinge requires attention. I must say that Whinge, realising that his humans are almost entirely devoid of fur, is remarkably generous with his. This leaves us with a constant problem of trying to keep Whinge fur and the railway separate. All our locomotives have had to be dismantled to remove cat hair from moving parts!



Whinge also hates so much attention being devoted to the model, rather than himself. To this end, he has on occasion jumped onto the baseboard. That is until he sat on the signal cabin which has long sharp finials. One detached and embedded itself in his nether regions....a stressful moment for us all. We thank Expo Tools for the pointed tweezers and Ratio for free replacement finials!



His best friend Lenny, a self colour caramel oriental has to be locked out when we run the trains due to his inability to differentiate between trains and mice (we think it's his inbreeding)!


Sadly, our cat Lenny mistook it for a mouse while it was running round the layout. waiting for his moment


he pounced and with a solid right claw, hooked it onto a brick step. The locomotive was completely destroyed.



Lenny was not injured or upset in any way as a result of this incident.

There are however some compensations for owning cats.

The cost of producing realistic grass on model railways is quite high particularly if you elect to use the Noch electrostatic system. Researchers at County Gate have developed a new methodology using renewable resources with a low carbon footprint. The choice of cat breed can be important. We strongly recommend the use of oriental cats (if available). For smaller scales, we suggest using kittens.


first wash cat


some cats may struggle just a little


many cats will require bleaching


Dye cat required colour of grass. The cat above is meadow spring green. (best not to use a dye that requires boiling)


this cat has been dyed in 'harvest gold'


cover area to be treated with PVA adhesive and apply cat

For tufts, lightly dab on cat in required places. For larger areas, hold cat in place using gaffer tape until PVA is nearly dry, then tear off cat (try not to get your blood on the model). The grass can then be trimmed to length required. Allow cat to lick off excess PVA from its skin. Whiskers are excellent for marginal plants such as reeds.


Once used, put aside for recycling and catch your neighbour's cat. The slight green tinge does fade in time.

OK, so I have got a twisted sense of humour but the Americans are dumb enough to do things like this for real!


can you believe this? Only in America!



best regards
John
 

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John I have to say that was very entertaining and thankyou for taking the time to put this thread on.

I to have a cat (A black one inherited from my wife) but as yet don't know how she will react when trains are running!!

Have caught her once sitting on my airfield on my railway in amongst the Spitfire's and Hurricane's!!!


Kind regards

Paul
 

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I have acctually designed a set of roadsigns ( for different eras and scales ) that say "No Giant Cats" and No oversized Pets allowed in this areas etc ........ all my layouts have them ....................... you just have to find them....

Nikki
 

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ahh yeah .......................... good point..................... Apparantly , according to my giant ginger cat the best place to sit is on the concrete pan of my OO engine shed..... No signs there, so they might be able to!!!

Nikki
 

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Thats just sooo funny John, I love the idea of dyine the cat!My Oliver (some may remember the 'Name my cat' thread from last year) is malting like crazy, could be a good donor source.
He hasn't tried to play with anything on the railway yet, but takes every given chance to get into the garage to inspect it, walking all over it, and planting himself on the yard.
Last year, or was it the year before, a neighbours cat got its self lock in the garage for 3 days. The wife and I where packing up the car to go off for a short break upto N.Yorkshire and he must of sneaked in. I always check before closing the door, but he was hidding. Got back about 6 pm 3 days later and heard a noise from within the garage, opened the door and out strolled a proud cat. I later found out why he was so proud, I needed a bucket of Detol, So all cat are banned frm the garage now (but they dont aggree!)It all reminds me of a film from many years ago about a dog called Digby

Brian
CME Milldale
 

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our other cat , Fat cat !! Luckly cant get up on the table so all layouts are safe from her................. which is good cause she looks like a small version of a bulldog and likes to stomp about the house................... cant see the fences etc lasting very long....................
 

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Now I'm begining to get really worried. Our pooch is called Puma because she's more like a cat than a dog (when you get to know her).

So far, she only comes into the railway room when I'm running my one sound diesel. Luckilly her nose isn't long enough to reach the scenery; but what if she reads this thread.

Switching off now !
 

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Absolutely brilliant. A good laugh does us all good.

First time I have ever emailed a post. (didn't know you could do it until I looked).

I sent it to my daughter who breeds cats.

AlanB
 

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"great at modelling and can knock up very funny topic read"! I like it!!
Frame in sunny Padstow.
 

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Although regretably living in a cat free free home at present, mainly not wanting to get a replacement while the acrimonious court battle with the ex was ongoing, I have had a few of the furry B++++rs in the past - why do they have to sit on wet varnish/glue/paint/plaster (mine have done all of those in the past).

Mind you when the cat gets onto the landscape and moulds the contours better than you can then I tend to forgive 'em.

Thanks for taking the time to post that John - it's certainly improved a completely s++t afternoon.

Regards
 

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Here is the railway destruction machine himself, he is called Mr Bobbles.............................................



here is his latest bed, yep we are all aware its far to small for him too but it was used to store some scenic materials in so it automatically became his bed.............................



still hes so sweet you cant even shout at him, you just have to give him cuddles......................................

nikki
 

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MY cat tends to use my railway as a base jump to my bed...

Was also sent this in an email from a friend...

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat 's Daily Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt
to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
 

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ROFL


David
 

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Just to add a little to this one, it appears that my place is now deemed the official meeting place for the local feline population! I keep finding different cats on the sofa (note to self - must repair the cat flap!)

Regards
 

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I too have suffered from "Kitten Kong", but it's usually repairable. Unfortunately recently, my aged (and lucky to still be alive) Tabby decided to wee on the diesel depot. Not quite subsidence quantity, but sufficient to warrant the track needing lifting a good disinfecting and new baseboard coverings. I have now found ways of stopping her getting into the layout, just now need to find a way of stopping her getting up onto it!

Below are a couple of shots of the yard before the 'incident'
(Sorry Mods, I tried to reduce the size before uploading, it didn't work)





Mike
 
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